Long-Lasting Pain

Several years ago when we wrote "Coping With the Death of a Child", we said "the pain is long-lasting." So we were not surprised that a University of Michigan study found marriages can be at risk for nearly a decade after a stillbirth and for two or three years after a miscarriage.

Researchers at the University of Michigan Health System did the first national study on the effect of pregnancy loss (miscarriage or stillbirth) on relationships.

"Over a 15-year period, couples who miscarried had a 22 percent higher risk of experiencing a break-up while couples who experienced a stillbirth had a 40 percent higher risk of their relationship ending. For a miscarriage, the risk persists up to three years after the loss. For stillbirths, it persists up to nine years after the loss, according to research data."

Katherine Gold, M.D., M.S.W., M.S.: "Miscarriage and stillbirth can be powerful and traumatic events for families. While many couples become closer after a loss, if a couple was struggling before the loss, this could be a huge stress for their relationship."
Source: Margarita Bauza. "Couples more likely to break up after pregnancy loss, U-M research finds." UMich.edu. 4/05/2010.

Please don't think that losing a baby means your marriage is doomed. That's not what we or the study is saying. While a loss may bring you closer, it can create additional stress in your marriage. If you think your marriage is in trouble, seek professional help. We don't think this is something you can work through on your own.

Long-Lasting Pain originally appeared on About.com Marriage on Friday, April 16th, 2010 at 03:55:18.

Permalink | Comment | Email this