I'm sure the invention of the vacuum cleaner helps millions of people every day. But not me. My vacuum cleaner curse goes back to my childhood.
When I was a kid my folks made me vacuum with a horrid super heavy canister vacuum that looked like a long tube. It took forever to get a room finished with that old thing. I hated that vacuum.
When Bob and I got married, the second thing we purchased as a married couple was a new vacuum cleaner. We got conned into buying this thing called a Compact vacuum cleaner. It looked like a turquoise pig. We were told they used the thing on airplanes. We paid a fortune for it -- 46 years ago, nearly $400 was a lot of money for an evil vacuum cleaner. The sucker didn't suck and the hose was easily plugged with little things. I kept a kitchen table knife in my pocket to drop down the hose to dislodge stuff. I hated that vacuum cleaner too. But because we paid so much for it, Bob absolutely refused to get another vacuum cleaner. It was an issue we could not talk about without both of us getting upset. I used that awful thing for nearly 30 years. I was finally set free when the pig vacuum died in the moving van fire. I grieved over the loss of 93% of everything we owned -- but not that [bleep] vacuum.
I researched what vacuums were best and we bought an upright one to replace the one I had been using that Bob found in a dumpster when we were really broke. I can't remember the brand of the new replacement, but it was a dud. I hated it too.
Luckily, I didn't have to live with it for very long. It died on its own. Bob accused me of killing it. I didn't. I think our daughter Judy did it in out of love for her mother.
Next comes a series of stupid, dumb, unfortunate choices in vacuum cleaners. All died untimely deaths.
Then I bought a Dyson. It had great reviews. Bob mumbled. It worked okay but I didn't like the heaviness of it or the way the pieces fit together. I spent so much money on the darn thing, I figured I was stuck with that vacuum cleaner until I died. Then the vacuum became a casualty of the kitchen fire. I don't miss it.
I have not purchased another vacuum cleaner. Now that we don't have carpet in our home, I'm okay with using a Swiffer or in extreme situations, Bob's huge, really big, ugly, professional construction vacuum. His vacuums are not cursed. Just mine.
My Vacuum Cleaner Curse originally appeared on About.com Marriage on Saturday, March 20th, 2010 at 22:37:54.
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