An intimidated, jealous, or threatened spouse may have feelings of:
- Envy.
- Fear and jealousy.
- Anger.
Has Losing Weight Hurt Your Marriage? originally appeared on About.com Marriage on Saturday, October 31st, 2009 at 05:10:33.
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Has Losing Weight Hurt Your Marriage?
It may be hard to understand, but there are spouses who have mixed feelings when their mate loses weight. Subtle sabotage and attempts to undermine any weight loss success can happen.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
The Presidency and Marriage
Speaking about their "public marriage, private smiles" relationship with Jodi Kantor for The New York Times, the first couple talked about date nights, difficult times, and reality checks.
In the "The First Marriage", the Obamas spoke about the impact of the presidency on their marriage. In the article, Kantor looked back at the early days of the Obama marriage, visited one of their first apartments, reflected on their marriage on the campaign trail, talked about life in the White House, and thought about the years ahead for Michelle and Barack Obama.
Some quotes from the article:President Obama: "What I value most about my marriage is Read more...
The Presidency and Marriage originally appeared on About.com Marriage on Thursday, October 29th, 2009 at 02:20:13.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Latest Halloween Costume Suggestions
If the Halloween costumes for couples already listed on our site aren't what you are looking for, perhaps some of these recent suggestions by our readers will work for you.
Lucy and Rick Ricardo from the I Love Lucy show ~~ Laura J.
Mork and Mindy ~~ Hollie K.
Tarzan and Jane ~~ Laura J.
King Kong and Ann Darrow ~~ Laura J.
Zombie couple ~~ Suzanne M.
Zorro and Elena ~~ Laura J.
Hamburger and Fries ~~ Laura J.
Maid for Money (sexy maid outfit with play money pinned to costume) and Money Man (money pinned to his clothing) ~~ Connie M.
Nurse and Doctor ~~ Laura J.
Grim Reaper and a Hair Brush (a brush with death) ~~ Gregg P.
Sandwich and Chips ~~ Laura J.
Calvin and Hobbes ~~ Erik A.
Bat and Ball ~~ Laura J.
Ball and Glove ~~ Laura J.
Book and Library Card ~~ Marsha S.
Johnny Cash and June Carter ~~ Laura J.
Kanye West and Taylor Swift ~~ T.
Roy Rogers and Dale Evans ~~ Laura J.
Ticket and Popcorn ~~ Laura J.
Computer and Printer ~~ Laura J.
Mary and Joseph ~~ G.J.
Table and Chair ~~ Laura J.
Fork and Spoon ~~ Laura J.
Knife and Fork ~~ Laura J.
Balloons and Confetti ~~ Laura J.
Bow and Gift ~~ Laura J.
Wallet and Money ~~ Laura J.
Kate and Jon Gosselin ~~ Phil J.
David Letterman and Regina Lasko ~~ Sally P.
Bernie and Ruth Madoff ~~ Joan C.
Characters from Lost ~~ Mary D. Ideas
Where the Wild Things Are Characters ~~ Lilah S.
Dorothy and a Tornado ~~ Pam G.
Seal and Heidi Klum ~~ George W.
Michelle and Barack Obama ~~ Sheila Y.
Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie ~~ Jared B.
Kid Rock and Pamela Anderson ~~ Jerry E.
Amelia Earhart and George Putnam ~~ Nancy O.
Soap and Sponge ~~ Laura J.
Latest Halloween Costume Suggestions originally appeared on About.com Marriage on Wednesday, October 28th, 2009 at 03:13:17.
Monday, October 26, 2009
Not Enough! Tougher Alienation of Affection Law in North Carolina
When we heard that North Carolina was changing the alienation of affection law, we thought this might be the beginning of rational thought in the few states that allow alienation of affection lawsuits.
But that is not the case. All the legislators changed in North Carolina was to make it a bit harder to sue a spouse's lover. As of October 1, 2009 if the extramarital affair started after a married couple is separated, the alienation of affection law cannot be used.
What's next? Considering a man cave as part of an alienation of affection lawsuit? Apparently, for some ... yes.
Commenting about Brad Pitt's man cave, John Harlow wrote: Read more...Not Enough! Tougher Alienation of Affection Law in North Carolina originally appeared on About.com Marriage on Monday, October 26th, 2009 at 03:45:02.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Can You Spot a Devoted Spouse?
One of the ways we spot devoted spouses is not only how they treat their partners but also how they look at their mates. You can often see patience, kindness, and love in their eyes and in their facial expression.
Robin Schoenthaler's article, "Will he hold your purse?" points out how to spot a devoted spouse.
Read more...Can You Spot a Devoted Spouse? originally appeared on About.com Marriage on Sunday, October 25th, 2009 at 16:00:24.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Set Aside Time Each Week
The blog Dumb Little Man recently featured an article "How to Be Your Own Life Coach and Save Some Cash." Some of the ideas could be helpful to married couples, too.
The idea of setting aside an hour each week to talk with one another about your "goals, dreams, ambitions, and problem areas" is terrific. This type of sharing yourself is vital to having a healthy and intimate marriage. Remember to share your feelings, too.
Read more...Set Aside Time Each Week originally appeared on About.com ! Marriage on Saturday, October 24th, 2009 at 02:33:42.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Falling Stars
During our first month of dating, one of the things we did was to sit outside and watch for falling stars in the Nevada sky. We had to drive out of town to avoid the lights of Las Vegas, but being close to one another and sharing our dreams with one another was worth the drive!
I'm not sure if a meteor shower is the same as falling stars, but the Orionids meteor shower appears every year at this time and gives you a reason (other than being romantic) to sit outdoors and hold hands.
Falling Stars originally appeared on About.com Marriage on Wednesday, October 21st, 2009 at 23:01:17.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Plan Now for the Holidays
When we first married, we were an interfaith couple. Our families were both very rooted in family traditions.
Our first Thanksgiving and Christmas, just a little over a month after our wedding, were both extremely stressful. We didn't have a mutual plan on how to handle the holidays and disappointment and misunderstandings surrounded the family events.
That first holiday season taught us the importance of talking about the holidays and making plans we could both accept. Don't let the holiday tug of war hurt your marriage! Plan now for the holidays!
Plan Now for the Holidays originally appeared on About.com Marriage on Tuesday, October 20th, 2009 at 02:30:55.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Storm Chasers Create Storm
Richard and Mayumi Heene reportedly wanted publicity. Well, the apparent stunt that they allegedly planned two weeks ago created enormous publicity along with serious legal problems for their family.
Additionally, law enforcement authorities voiced concerns about domestic violence in the family. This makes us wonder how well Mayumi and Richard Heene will handle the storm they created for their own family.
Read more...Storm Chasers Create Storm originally appeared on About.com Marriage on Sunday, October 18th, 2009 at 17:16:27.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Justice of the Peace Outrage
We are outraged. We've been told we shouldn't rush to judgment about the Louisiana Justice of Peace who refused to marry an interracial couple, Beth Humphrey and Terence McKay. Why not rush to judgment on this issue?
Apparently this isn't the first time that Keith Bardwell has refused to marry interracial couples saying that most interracial marriages do not last long. Bardwell has been a justice of the peace in Tangipahoa Parish's 8th Ward for 34 years.
Read more...Justice of the Peace Outrage originally appeared on About.com Marriage on Friday, October 16th, 2009 at 14:12:06.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Sabotage From Within
While there is a lot of talk in the news about how the institution of marriage is under attack, we think the real sabotage to marriages comes from within when a spouse says one thing and does another, breaks promises, criticizes and undermines the other, is forgetful on purpose, etc.
I saw a couple in the grocery store today and couldn't believe the way she was talking to him -- so many put downs and insults. That type of sabotage can kill a marriage.
It's not easy, but you can try to save your marriage from sabotage by recognizing the sabotage and not making excuses for your spouse's negative behavior.
Be honest and tell your spouse that the sabotage needs to stop. If it doesn't, then seek professional marriage counseling.
Sabotage From Within originally appeared on About.com Marriage on Thursday, October 15th, 2009 at 01:04:58.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Free Second Honeymoons to Save Marriages
Do you think a free second honeymoon can save a marriage on the brink of divorce?
According to community development committee chairman Ashaari Idris, after conducting a pilot project earlier in 2009, the Malaysian state of Terengganu believes the holiday package, which includes marriage counselling sessions, will help couples to "treasure their marital ties and avoid separations."
CBS News reports "couples will be allowed to spend two nights at the state's scenic islands or beach resorts to help them rekindle their romance under a "Second Honeymoon" program. Ashaari says the state government hopes to launch the plan soon "to resolve marital problems and to create models of exemplary families."
We are strong supporters of married couples making time for romantic getaways, even if it is for one night now and then. We sincerely hope that the Malaysian program does help couples in troubled marriages.
Free Second Honeymoons to Save Marriages originally appeared on About.com Marriage on Tuesday, October 13th, 2009 at 00:05:24.
Sunday, October 11, 2009
Slowing Down
Slowing down, or unplugging, or recharging, or re-creating is generally described as an individual need. Reading Alana B. Elias Kornfeld's article, "How We Unplug & Recharge" made us think of how couples need to unplug and recharge, too, in order to make sure their marriage doesn't run on empty.
We like to walk together, especially on the beach. Watching an old classic romance movie together is both enjoyable and re-creating for us. Some other ways we can recharge as a couple are sitting in a hot tub, meandering through an antique store, taking a nap, watching ships on the river, getting rid of stuff we don't need both physically and emotionally, and going for a drive in our scenic area. Individually, Bob works in his garden to feel closer to nature and I enjoy re-reading favorite books.
How do you recharge and unplug as a couple? Please share how the two of you recharge.
Slowing Down originally appeared on About.com Marriage on Sunday, October 11th, 2009 at 02:56:27.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Two More Marriage Myths
Back in March 2002, marriage researcher David Popenoe listed ten marriage myths. Unfortunately, from what we read in our emails and on the marriage forums, those myths are still believed by many people.
Two other marriage myths that need to be dispelled are "all you need is love" and "it's okay to ask for help with chores."
We do place love first on our list of qualities for a successful marriage, but the list is a long one. Asking your spouse to help with household chores is a mistake. Asking for help implies that the responsibility for the chores belongs to just you. Chores around the house should be considered shared responsibilities.
What marriage myths would you like to see disappear? Share more myths.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
80 Years Together!
Paul and Georgia Bradley, who live in Indiana, are celebrating their 80th wedding anniversary.
"Now 98 years old, the Bradleys have spent almost their entire lives by each other's side. The happy couple says each day is still an adventure full of romance and humor, and they're still in love after all these years."
Source: "Ind. couple celebrates 80 years of marriage." ABCLocal.go.com. 10/06/2009.
How wonderful. Though we do have to question their comments on a video. Paul said they never had an argument and Georgia responded that she just let him win. That may have worked for the Bradleys, but we don't recommend not ever having an argument! Most marriage experts agree that learning healthy conflict management skills is vital to having a successful long lasting marriage.
Marriage Scandals -- A Slippery Slope?
Headlines about marriage scandals, usually unfaithful spouses in political marriages, frequent the news these days. Warning signs were evident in some of the marriages, but some spouses were seemingly surprised by the news. A few of the marriages ended in divorce and some married couples hit by scandal are still together.
The lack of public outrage over the recent David Letterman scandal has some marriage experts concerned that individuals are getting too used to marriage scandals and that our society is on a slippery slope towards more failed marriages.
We don't think so. We think the Letterman, Ensign, Edwards, and Sanford scandals can remind people of the negative impact of stupid, selfish decisions on their lives, the lives of their spouse and children, their careers, and their families.
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Vote in one of the Marriage Polls
What are your thoughts about cohabitation, confessing a one-night stand, marrying your spouse again, whether or not opposites attract, and the importance of traditions in your marriage?
Share your thoughts and opinions on these and other topics by participating in one of our Marriage Polls.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Women and Happiness
While much is being written about the happiness of women, we believe that you can't depend on anyone or anything to make you happy. Happiness must come from within yourself.
Marcus Buckingham: "... since 1972, women's overall level of happiness has dropped, both relative to where they were forty years ago, and relative to men. You find this drop in happiness in women regardless of whether they have kids, how many kids they have, how much money they make, how healthy they are, what job they hold, whether they are married, single or divorced, how old they are, or what race they are. (The one and only exception: African-American women are now slightly happier than they were back in 1972, although they remain less happy than African American men.) ... And, in case you're wondering, this finding is neither unique to this one study, nor is it unique to the United States."
Source: What's Happening to Women's Happiness?" 9/17/2009.
Current research confirms at least three First Ladies nailed the happiness issue.
Martha Washington: "The greater part of our happiness or misery depends on our disposition and not on our circumstances."
Source: Marcus Buckingham. "What the Happiest and Most Successful Women Do Differently." HuffingtonPost.com. 9/28/2009.Betty Ford: "I was giving too much of myself and not taking any time out for Betty ..."
Source: Kati Marton. Hidden Power: Presidential Marriages That Shaped Our History. pg. 208.Michelle Obama: "Throughout my life, I've learned to make choices that make me happy and make sense for me. Even my husband is happier when I'm happy. So I have freed myself to put me on the priority list and say, yes, I can make choices that make me happy, and it will ripple and benefit my kids, my husband and my physical health."
Source: Darlene Superville. "Michelle Obama to women: Do what makes you happy." Associated Press. 9/28/2009.
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